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Friday, August 28, 2009

>Baby Making Stuff

>My daughter is going to be 2 in October. Pretty much since she was born my husband has been nagging me about having another one.

I had my reasons for not wanting another one.
The first being that the first time we became pregnant I had a miscarriage and it was devestating. Then the second was when I was pregnant with my daughter toward the end I had complications. I had Preclampsia so they had to induce me. Then after over 24 hours of labor- I lost track. I went in the hospital on a Thursday to be induced and didn't have my daughter until Saturday via C-section. So I had the pain of the labor and the pain of the C-section afterward. Whoever says you forget all the pain once you hold your child is a liar. From the Preclampsia they had to give me mercury, then I had the epidural and the spinal block. I went in there not wanting any drugs and held out as long as possible that the nurses and doctors were in shock. They had to break my water. Kept increasing the Pitocin which then increased the contractions. It was a crazy, painful experience. The third being that I get really bad back pain now because of all those things they stuck in my back. So I remember the back pains I had being pregnant. This ontop of that- how will I move?? Then there is - my daughter is a lot of work, how will we manage two? Well I decided perhaps I am ready to face my fears.

Well finally we sat down and talked about it seriously. So with my daughter we didn't find out the sex. it was the best feeling in the world to have that surprise. So I decided that if we were to have another one that it would be the same. My hubby says we should find out so that we can get rid of all the girl if it were a boy. So during our serious conversation, which now I am ready for another, he decides he isn't. I mean after two years of him asking and wanting... finally i say yes and he says no. He said he wants to wait until he gets his CDL (truck driving) license and gets a new job. He has a permit, and still has to do classes for the license which are expensive. Then there is the whole searching for a job. We are both nervous of at that point what the hours will be. Right now we both work 9-5.

Well, now I am left with mixed feelings... I mean confused and kind of disappointed.
It actually kind of sucks...

Before I had reasons that I don't want to. But now I have been thinking and I am going to present hubby with reasons I do wan to have another one now. For one, I want our family to grow. For two, I don't want the age difference to be to much. For three, Hubby's job now- he gets a discount on baby stuff.

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